it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
