oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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