OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Did I show you my penis last night?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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