Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
