He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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