one might say we're banned from that church
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
