I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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