So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize