Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
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Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
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By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
And then my night got REAL pukey
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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