To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
