i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
