I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize