i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
