The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
