i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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