is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
and she was petting her beer can
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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