im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
