well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
