How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Semen is not good for contacts.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
