those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
