She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
