She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You took a bar mat shot.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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