It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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