the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
