I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
two words...techno handjob
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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