flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
