Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize