He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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