I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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