Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
