It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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