what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Farmville is her only friend.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
