I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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