so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize