office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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