how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
