Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize