So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
