NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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