I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
