yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize