Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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