Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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