at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
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I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
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You need a sexual gate keeper
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize