I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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