I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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