That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
