Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
