Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm jealous of your bromance
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
