He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
