I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
