It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
