HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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