she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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