That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
