He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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