At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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