whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
