I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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