Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
