Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
