i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
