just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
