this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
