We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
