Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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