It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
