Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
