I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
