This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
