Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
