probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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