imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
