just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
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Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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