Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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