If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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